Winter Retreat 2012

The Winter Retreat, which was Feb 10-12, is a gathering of Illinois campus ministries at Lake Springfield Christian Assembly.  Each year a group of CSFers look forward to a weekend of learning from the main speaker, workshop and small groups with other ministries around the area.
Intern, Emily Barnett, recounts the retreat in her own words...

As I came into Winter Retreat this year it was with a different perspective.  As a student I was more "me focused" and wanted to relate everything I learned to myself.  Which is the purpose as a student. But with more responsibility this year as the intern and my heart truly wanting transformation in those that I pray for... it was much different.  As I listened to JK Jones speak during the weekend I kept praying the students would be challenged by the Spirit through his words.  I loved the wisdom of JK about Spiritual Transformation and growth as a believer.  His insight and knowledge of the word was inspiring and left me wishing the retreat was a week long and not just 3 days.  The whole week before I was struggling a lot with anxiety.  I wanted to make sure my responsibilities were going to run smoothly.  And though it is important to be efficient and do things well, it was humbling to see God work in the lives of students in spite of all of the "stuff" we needed to do. 

Saturday night (half-way through the retreat) we met with our ministry and shared what God was speaking to us.  I heard some amazing things, and from people who had never opened up before.  And as we sat around in the circle I had a fear creep up on me.  Wait, I thought, I hadn't taken time to apply much of this weekend for myself.  I was too preoccupied in how the students were taking it.  But as I heard story after story, I realized what God was whispering to me.  He said something like this in the quiet. 

"Hey, you have been freaking out about this weekend not realizing that I would move mountains with or without you.  Can't you see how I'm working in all these people's lives and in different ways? Sure, I'm glad you helped.. but I can do it without you.  So stop worrying and just be in awe of me. " 

In light of the retreat, I have been in awe of God.  A weird peace has calmed my inner storm that plagues my beating heart at times.  My perfectionism has subsided in knowing that God is the only one who can handle being perfect.  What he asks is simple... "I have given you the Holy Spirit for a purpose.  I will lead you in all things.  Can you trust me with the outcome?"

And even though I fight it... I believe I can.

(Above: CSFers Richard Prebil and Brenna Byerly back left with their small group of other campus ministries having some bonding time!)

A Valentine Every Day

This weekend I was reminded of the particular relationship I have with God. All the things He’s gotten me through and the feelings my heart has for Him. For me God is very personal; He’s my God. He has been with me during some really dark days and always responds so gently. Things that have happened in this world that have left me guarded and cautious. I become scared easily and when I do, I push people away. Why would I be expected to respond any differently when it comes to God? It was like a tug-of-war during the first part of our relationship. He pursued my heart and showed me His, I would eventually become scared and push Him away, and then He gently and slowly pulled me back in a way that made me feel safe.  He knows my heart. He knows how I become scared and He knows how to respond in ways that leaves me feeling calm. “O Lord, you have searched me and you know me” (Psalm 139:1).

 He knows how to reach to depths of my soul.  This is the message I felt called to give when I accepted the opportunity to speak at the nursing home. And once again, God knew how to calm me. A group of CSFers were to visit the nursing home two days before Valentine’s Day to lead a small service. Valentine’s Day is the kind of day that melts my heart. It’s a day I cherish. Two years ago, God worked His magic and I was baptized on Valentine’s Day. Leading up to the baptism I spent about four years pushing Him away and drawing closer. So when I committed to my decision, He knew my heart well enough and spoke right to it. I was baptized on a day marked by love and what greater love is there but Him? Boy, he knows how to make me feel special.

Though the very thought of public speaking scares me to the core, He knew how to calm me and show me that I had a message to share. I was asked to give a devotional to the group of residents at the nursing home we visited.  I spoke of how God doesn’t and will never abandon us. Though troubles may come he never leaves our side. That He loves us so much that He’s asking us to be His Valentine. He purses us and prays for us. He gave His only son for us. When the roses die and the chocolates are eaten, God is still there pouring out His love for us. He never leaves and He’s the kind of guy you want to stick around. 

God has blessed me in so many ways. The thought of Him knowing everything about my inner most being before I felt comfortable sharing my soul with Him once activated my flight response. Slowly, because of who He is, I realized He is not like all the others. His love screams 1 Corinthians 4-6. He was the first one I had ever experienced to be so patient and kind to me. When my heart pounded a million miles a minute He did not push. He was just there telling me that He was not going anywhere and we could go as slow as I needed.      
          
           He really is a savior. He can save you from your deepest despair. Will you consider allowing Him to be your Valentine?

by Chrissy Benoit

Chrissy is in the process of receiving her Masters at UIS studying Human Development Counseling.

Godz Bodz: Sweatin' in the Spirit

If you missed the video at The Edge last night, here it is again! What a great way to exercise the spirit and the body.. Great job ladies, and gentleman! (Great filming/editing Celia!)